I have an interesting relationship with my dad. In so many ways we are totally different. We have different views on things, different personality traits, & different ways of responding to things. However, I've realized I also have a lot of traits I got from him. We aren't as close as we used to be, but we are a different type of close now. Now it's like when we talk, it's all grown-up business like him giving me advice about "big girl"stuff. Lately we've been talking about IRA investment accounts, insurance, careers, mortgages, relationships in general, etc. I wish we could be closer, but I don't know maybe it's just not the right time. Maybe (and hopefully) in the future as things settle down a little and us two girls grow up some more, we'll be closer again. But for now, I cherish these serious talks I have with my dad even if all that information is overwhelming.
Tonight we had some family friends over and got to talking about those serious topics all together and then it ended up with just my dad and me discussing those serious topics. I guess I partially knew this, but sometimes just hearing more of what my dad handles without hardly ever seeming upset or stressed and knowing where he came from to where he is now, just shocks me.
My dad lost both his parents by the time he was 18 years old. He graduated high school without his parents in Iran and that was it. He had even been kidnapped and placed at gunpoint until he gave the guys all his money. He can vividly tell you the story. Iran had a Revolution at the time, so he escaped on horse back. Went to Italy for a bit, and then ventured to America at the young age of 22. I'm 23 currently and to imagine going through all this ALONE, escaping in fear, and coming to some place where everything is unknown and English NOT being your first language is totally insane. He worked for basically nothing in New York. Had 3 jobs and was sometimes working 70 hours a week to support us. He told me tonight that when he bought the house we currently live in that he paid $40,000 in cash from what he had saved up. My jaw dropped because I was like "how is that even possible?" My dad is seriously smart especially when it comes to finances. My dad busted his ass and worked hard all his life on HIS OWN! He was telling me, you just have to be smart with your expenses. He currently has 26 bills he pays monthly, 26 bills! How do you even keep up with that? He has NEVER missed a payment and his credit score shows it. He said something like, "See, I paid that money, I bought 3 houses, I bought 4 cars, I paid 4 insurances, I put/am putting my 2 daughters through school (partially), and we still have gone on vacations pretty much every year." Let me remind you, that my dad had basically no guidance, barely any money, and no college degree when he came to America. Sometimes he says things like, "I wish I could make more money or do more," and I tell him ,"Dad, given your circumstances you should be really proud of yourself." There are people who are given everything and have so many opportunities and still aren't where he's at.
So although our relationship is kind of an odd one, I can say I truly respect my dad and look up to him in many ways. Even with all that he may have going on, he still pushes forward and is always positive. I'm glad to have a dad who has worked hard, made it to where he is on his own, & continues to thrive for more and never settle. My talks with him about this stuff always encourages me to work for more and have those same traits.
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