So I officially completed my first week as an 8th grade teacher and I survived WITHOUT even crying! Plus, let's add on the fact that I came in mid-year! People always tell stories about crying their first week in August because it's so overwhelming, but I feel pretty good. I'm still very overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. I think my brain has reached capacity and is on information overload right now. I don't even know where to start...
I've gone in early (between 7:00-7:30AM) each day this week and I've stayed until between 5:00-5:45PM. I don't have to be there until 8:15AM & I can leave at 4:30PM, but I've realized I'm such a type-A person, that I need to have everything in order, organized, neat, & prepared. Which might be a big part as to why I'm so overwhelmed. I've had to learn a lot of info in a short period of time especially being a mid-year teacher. Even when I get home from work, I go into my sister's room (since she's not home, I've made it like my office when I get home), sit at the little table and plan lessons, grade papers, figure teacher stuff out, etc. I honestly don't stop planning or think about teaching until I go to bed. Maybe it's because it's still taking me time to get into the flow of things, but I am trying to plan really good lessons that will engage my students. My brain is literally MUSH right now, like even typing this I can't think straight--no joke. I wanted to come home today & work on finishing all my stuff so I could enjoy my weekend & be done with it, but I am no use right now-haha!
I was thinking, I need to work on being quicker with my planning and try to do it primarily AT SCHOOL, not home. I do get a planning period of one hour, but sometimes I have meetings or have to run errands. I just hope I can quickly get more into the groove of things, however I feel like I've done awesome considering the circumstances. So yea maybe I'm somewhat of a workaholic; it's because I'm too determined I guess. So I really need to work on controlling that.Then again, I was also thinking maybe it's a good thing because it's not like I have any other commitments besides my pets honestly. Although it's mentally exhausting, it keeps my mind busy which is something I definitely need. If my mind is too free, then I think way too much about things I don't really want on my mind. Anyway, that's a different story. I don't mind working really hard, it's how I've always been. I just want to feel less overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. I'm also starting to get sick, so that probably doesn't help.
As far as the class goes, it appears that most of them like or LOVE me haha! They even state it. One kid even said, "You're too nice to be a teacher!" (There we go again with me being too nice...) I guess teachers are supposed to be mean all the time?! Some of the students are really sweet to me and say really nice things. There are some that just melt my heart because of how quiet they are, how hard they try, and how engaged they are. They are the ones that make it worth it. I came in early today to do a review with any students who needed help before the math test they had today. The teacher across the hallway saw one of my students coming down the hall and asked him why he was at school so early and he told her, "My teacher is nice and is going to help me review for the math test." I was just like "AWWWW" when she told me. When I did my lesson plans and review games this week, a lot of the kids said things made sense the way I explained it and they felt more confident. However, the test results today were not what I wanted in general. That was the only moment I really felt like crying. It just sucks when I can't transfer my energy and motivation to other people. I feel like I try so hard for it to be contagious. I try to show my students that I care about them and their future. I show this by working HOURS on great lesson plans even though I'm sick and super tired. I come in early and stay late to help them and to plan. I am willing to try whatever I can to help them, even if I have 120 total students. So, it's just kind of saddening when I see a carefree attitude or the "I give/gave up"! I hope throughout the semester I can help with some of that. I just have a bleeding heart and feel like I can solve everything and help everyone. It's another part of the overwhelming feeling because I get let down when I realize that's not realistic. I can only do so much I guess.
Anyway, I work with some awesome people. EVERYONE I've met, whether they are a math teacher or not and even teachers from different grades have come up to me and asked if I needed help, materials, advice, or to vent that I could come to them. I'm glad to be around a supportive group of people. Makes me feel a little more at ease. I absolutely LOVE having my own classroom. It's still surreal when I use my key to unlock the door. Today my name banner got put up in front of my door and so now it looks real official! I also FINALLY got my important employee ID number & my county laptop. I was having to submit attendance manually everyday & had no way to log in to computers, so that was another challenge to face. I even had an IEP meeting & the students had an 8th grade writing test. Whew! Talk about overwhelming.
I honestly don't think people know how much a GOOD teacher has to do in a day. Like just follow one of us around 1 day & see how tired you'll be. I just want to sleep good, have fun, & relax for a bit.
BUT, I'm going to a Big Sister meeting for Big Brothers, Big Sisters of ATL tomorrow morning. After that though, I'm going to see my best friend forever (my sister) to stay with her for the night. I'm excited! I miss her and I love catching up with her. She's the one person I can truly count on & who understands me. I guess we'll have a 2 hour work sesh so she can do homework/study and I can plan with a normal functioning brain...I hope!
Anyway, I'm glad with how things are going and I think the good stuff will continue with my determination and by sticking to my goals list for the year!
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