Lately I've been thinking of how a lot of people in my age range are very dependent upon others. I am not just saying money wise, but with making decisions in their life. I then came across this video of a YouTube blogger that I love and I think what she said was perfect! Here's the video for anyone who wants to watch.
Thinking of all this and watching this video made me really realize what one of my biggest goals in life is and that is to be as dependent upon myself as possible. I remember my dad saying a few years ago "Never depend on a guy." He told me to always make sure I was stable and had my own career, so that if one day he left I wouldn't have to worry about where I stand. Well guess what? That's what I plan on doing. As nice as it sounds to have someone make all the money and me just sit around, it's not something I'm ever comfortable with. In fact, I would rather be the more stable one in a relationship or in my family. Even when I did group projects throughout school I volunteered to do the majority of the work. Why? Because I knew I would get stuff done and make sure it was good quality. How can I be let down by the results if I am the one in control of the results? You see, people let you down. People will ALWAYS let you down. Your classmates, co-workers, society, accquantinces, friends, significant others, and family will let you down probably more than once. That's just how it goes. Now, you might let yourself down sometimes as well. For example, if you did badly on a test and you know it's because you kind of blew off studying and you know you could have done better if you actually studied. In that case, you let yourself down, BUT at least you were in control. You could have changed that result, you just chose not to by not studying. However, if you put your all into a relationship or friendship and then you depend upon that particular person to be reliable since you always are reliable to them and that person lets you down even with all your efforts, then you are in a situation that you have no control over. You did your part in the relationship or friendship and met the expectations of that friend...that was all that was pretty much in your control. Yet, they still let you down since you didn't have control.
See how being independent doesn't even have to relate with money somtimes?
I honestly can say "I TRUST ME." There are a few people I trust with certain things, but I completely trust and depend upon myself.
Now, in no way am I saying that we should throw all people out of our life and just live on our own. It's good to have friends and family that you know will support you, be there for you if you need someone to talk to, create memtories with, or make you laugh.
I never, ever was the type of girl that wanted to depend upon a guy (financially), in fact I am the type to say "No, you don't have to buy me that" or would be the girl that would get upset if a guy bought me a really expensive purse or something. It's just not my thing to be honest. And if I (did)/do ever get treated that way, I am EXTREMELY appreciative.
However, I feel like I did somewhat rely on a relationship for emotional stability and happiness. I remember I used to think well if I ever feel insecure or not confident around a bunch of people I can just remember I have someone at the end of the day. I thought that a significant other could kind of bring me strength and make me feel more confident and less self conscious about everything. So in that sense, I was dependent because I guess that's what you do when you are in a relationship & love someone. Not saying that it's all bad, but I think now I realize it's better to first be dependent upon yourself for emotional strength before relying on someone else. Because, yet again, that person might not always be there and when they are gone I can promise you it's a serious struggle to pick yourself up after being shattered to pieces. I know that I will always be with myself. I will always have my mind, my values, my respect for myself, and my thoughts.
I used to worry (and sometimes still do) about when I would get married and have kids and how I was going to find this "right" person, and how would I not be hurt? Now, I'm kind of just like "go with the flow".Does it really suck to be alone sometimes? YES!! I'm not going to lie! I'm just good with where I am going personally. I've got plans for myself and there is no one that can let me down because I'm not depending on anyone else for my happiness.
Like I said, I am going to work to become as dependent upon myself as I can. I've talked about emotionally, but now to the financially part. It takes some time since I need a legit career before I can move out for real and pay for everything on my own and do everything on my own. I think I'm off to a really good start though. I'm so grateful for being the raised way I was/am. I know that at any moment I could ask my parents for anything and they would try their best to supply it to myself or my sister. Yet, we always try to pay for our stuff. We pay for our doctor appointments, our contact lenses, our pets (vet & food), our gas, our own products, groceries at school, our clothes, car registration & emissions, our school books, our credit card bills and definitely any luxury items. The only things we don't pay for is our car insurance, cell phone bill, and rent while living at my dad's. There have been plenty of times that I've offered my dad money for my car insurance or to help him out in any way possible. Plus, both my parents know how grateful my sister and I. We always say how we are going to pay them back when we graduate and have a career and I seriously will. I tell my dad that my first real paycheck is going to him. It's great knowing that I can rely on my parents for help, but I would prefer not to!
I hear some people my age and even older that still rely HEAVILY on their parents. Their parents still do their laundry, always cook for them, tell them when they need to do certain things, what decisions to make in life, what classes they need to register for, etc. It's just really odd and it's NOT cute, especially if you're a guy. Some people have never had their own job or made their own money. Why would you want to live a life like that? I just can't imagine that. Working has taught me so many values and the value of money. It's SO much more rewarding when you work hard and earn your money to achieve the things you need/want at the end of the day.
I love the values I was taught and brought up with. I love where it is taking me in life. I love who I am becomming. I love that I am dependent upon myself and I can't wait until the day that I am fully dependent upon myself! :)
Well, that was a really long entry, so if you actually read this...thanks! I just needed to get it written down because it's been on my mind a lot lately!
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